anti-terrorist re-election egg-salad

ingredients
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19 hard boiled eggs with pilot licenses

1 syringe of ether-laced mayonnaise

a bowl of low-saltpetre

1 acre of melted marshmallows

a squadron of carrot sticks

1 cargo plane of hand-i-wipes

oil : for a hungry nation

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INSTRUCTIONS
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1. Arrange military escort for all "good eggs" to a safe haven in Saudi Arabia.

2. Heavily insure the rest of the eggs, name yourself benefactor.

3. Give eggs a lie-detector test. Identify and separate the egg yellows from the egg whites.

3. Blow the egg whites. Now whip them silly. Make sure the egg yellows are watching.

4. Ask them again, where is Ben Laden?

5. Re-assemble the egg whites with the egg yellows, putting them under heavy surveillance, along with the rest of the population.

6. Instruct Homeland Security to rub the ether-mayonnaise mixture on cockpit door handles of all commercial aircraft, remind them to wear gloves.

7. Stamp "free healthcare, love Pres." on packets of hand-i-wipes and arrange air-drop to New Orleans. Raise taxes and blame it on the eggs. Watch opinion polls soar.

8. Incarcerate eggs with scape-goatcheese and crackers.

9. Sprinkle low saltpeter on any suspicious roosters.

10. Commission friends generously to reconstruct eggshells into a democratic nation.

11. With the melted marshmallow and carrot sticks, make a diagram to show where Sadam Hussein hid his weapons of mass destruction. Videotape this for your impeachment hearing, just in case.